The Decision To Have Only One Child!

by Kathy Sykes on January 19, 2010 · 2 comments


Everyone has their opinion about the decision to have only one child. Some say that a child needs another sibling in the home in order for that child to have companionship. Some say that an only child will be selfish as an adult. And then there are those that say that having only one child makes no difference whatsoever in the way they will feel or act emotionally as adults.

I had the most terrific pregnancy followed by a difficult delivery which involved an unexpected additional MAJOR surgery (which turned out positively). My obstetrician said that if I decided to get pregnant again, there was no guarantee that I would have the same   positive results.

So, I had to make the decision to either take the chance and have another child with the possibilities of complications or be happy and satisfied with the healthy child that the Lord did bless me to have. It was an easy decision on my part. But people still give me their opinions. No, I do not go into detail with every person why I have chosen not to have another child but shouldn’t that totally be my decision regardless of what my reasons are?

We, as women, sometimes feel the pressure from society to be what is interpreted as the “perfect design” for our lives. That includes marriage with 2-3 kids, a two car garage home, a luxury SUV, and a constant smile on our face. I have chosen not to live out SOMEONE ELSE’S dream of the perfect life. And what is perfect for one person, is not perfect for another. If I can teach my son to be a good person and to contribute to society, then I feel my job has been done.

What I am constantly working toward (within myself and for my family) is PEACE! If people can find the peace to be content with what they have and the blessings to come, then they will not have time to compare and give opinions of other people’s life. I just recently kept an infant AND my two year old during a church service and man was it a true test of patience and stamina. That was another sign for me that I do not need another child right now.

If it is in the Lord’s plan for my family, there are many children out there that need parents through adoption and that is totally an option for us….BUT not by my own Will but His. Continue to pray for the children of Haiti who have been orphaned by the earthquake

P.S. Yes we are totally rocking the Tennessee Vols orange color!

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Tricia Kaye January 19, 2010 at 11:48 pm

Kathy, thanks for writing this post. I have been struggling with the lack of contentment with just having one child. It was so hard to get pregnant with my son(we call him our miracle baby). We want another child but last year (a year from yesterday) I miscarried. It wasn’t easy and I carried a lot of emotions from that. We are still trying but no luck so far. I know God has a plan and I am so thankful and blessed to have a son.

My Prayer is to totally put my life in His hand and if His will is for me to only have Davis, then I want to be ok with that. I totally agree that there are many kids that need a good and loving home. That may be our route.

May God continue to bless you and your family!!!


Melanie @ Mel, A Dramatic Mommy March 8, 2010 at 7:04 pm

Sometimes the grass looks really green on the other side. It’s not an easy decision to make, but it is an individual one. Right now, I try to focus on being the best mom I can be for my son.


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