Being A Really Great Mother And An “Okay” Wife, Daughter, Sister!

by Kathy Sykes on March 4, 2010 · 2 comments



As women, we wear many hats in the workplace and in our families. But are we actually doing “it all” and maintaining healthy relationships with those who matter most?

Since my blog is titled A Wife, A Mother, and A First Lady..I thought I would post about what a struggle it is to be “every woman”, as sung by Chaka Kahn, all AT ONCE. Yes, these are the roles that we have placed on us as women today but all areas cannot be taking care of 100% perfect simultaneously. That being said, should we just let “life” affect our relationships in a negative way? I feel we should maintain a “standard” of responsibility as human beings, friends, and family.

Right now, I am in the season of my life of being a Mother. Everything I do and every decision that I make is based upon my child first and then my family. So, other things in life (that may have been near the top of the list) have been pushed down near the bottom. Should I care? I think so!! There are going to be many transitions in life (birth of children, work schedules, schooling, community activities, etc.) that may “change” the way we conduct our living. BUT, what is most important should remain most important and we find ways to “fit in” everything else.

This is where I am learning to keep some “standards of care” within my family regardless of the changes in life. There is no reason that we cannot remain to be good friends, attentive wives, and supportive sisters and daughters while life continues to go on.  The quantity of the time we spend with significant others may reduce, but the quantity and priority of those relationships should not.

Try to “fit in” your family and friends into your new life. If you have to grocery shop, see if your mom or friend needs to do some shopping too. Sometimes it is easier, with a toddler, to have those extra sets of hands and you’re still maintaining a relationship.

During these transitions in life we also grow and develop as people. We will not be the exact same person we were a year ago, but our core values and standards should remain the same. If our family and friends are aware of this, the relationship will not seem so distant during this change in life. 

Bottom line…….Continue to flourish and grow and become who you are meant to be in life. But also remain true to your core values and standards of life so that you are still easily recognizable to those who love you the most.

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

The (Un)Experienced Mom March 4, 2010 at 4:02 pm

Great post. And so true. It’s no wonder we often feel exhausted with all we try to accomplish as mothers – keeping up with relationships is just one of those tasks!



Nanette March 6, 2010 at 5:10 pm

I’m willing to bet every woman whose a mother, or not yet a mother , can relate to this post. For me, the key is staying focused on the people who are most important. There is only 24 hours in a day. I need 8 of them for sleep, about 8 for work, so that only leaves 8 more. I just try and remember that life has different seasons. There is a season for motherhood, a career season, a season to explore dreams and aspirations, a season for ups and a season for downs. When my life-seasons change, I just thank God for the new experience and ask myself what’s the lesson to learn.


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